Why You Sound Like Everyone Else | FOCB Feat. Dawn Gayge

A lot of business owners have this problem:

People like them…
but still don’t know how to refer them.

Why?

Because their message sounds like everyone else’s.

In this episode of From Overlooked to Consistently Booked, Meaghan Chitwood sits down with Dawn Gayge of Tracer Strategy Marketing to break down why vague messaging creates weak referrals — and how clarity instantly makes you more memorable.

Because if people can’t quickly understand:

who you help
what problem you solve
and why you’re different

…they won’t know when to send business your way.

In this conversation, Dawn shares:

how to identify what actually makes you unique
why most industries sound exactly the same
how to create messaging people can repeat
why “clear is kind”
and simple ways to road test your messaging before spending money on marketing

One of the strongest takeaways:

If nobody is raising their hand and saying:
“That’s me.”

…your message probably isn’t specific enough.

Dawn also shares practical exercises for:

identifying your unique value
understanding what your ideal customer actually needs
simplifying your messaging
and creating language that naturally generates referrals

Because referrals happen faster when people can picture exactly who you help.

Want to grow your business through referrals and relationships?
Visit a BNI chapter near you:
https://northern.bnialabama.com/en-US/index

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:09

Hi, I'm Megan Chitwood and welcome back to From Overlook to Consistently Book. I help business owners and sales professionals build strong, effective referral networks so they don't have to chase business. It comes to them. Each week we break down what actually makes people refer you, trust you, and talk about you. This week we are talking about why you sound like everyone else and why that is killing your referrals with Don Gagey from Tracer Strategy Marketing. Welcome back, Don. Thank you so much, Pengy. So in B and I, you know, we have we have different professions and different chapters. And when I go around as an example, it seems like the bankers are all sort of saying the same things, right? So it's very hard to differentiate which one is the best. So how do you how do you recommend people just really start to differentiate themselves?

SPEAKER_01 0:59

Yeah, and I feel like this is a tricky question when you're just asking it in a in a general capacity. So giving an example is a wonderful approach. Um and I have a couple. So the first one is um in the banker adjacent world, um Jeff Florio, who's with Old Oak Advisors, again, another BI chapter member, fellow member of mine, he he has a tough field, right? Because first of all, he's a unique type of advisor. He is not a broker, he's a fee-only advisor. So he has a fiduciary responsibility that's a little bit different than the average investment guy. And his really original, unique approach, in addition to being in that lane of a fee-only advisor, is he actually gives his clients his cell phone number and he's reachable. Seems simple, seems non-unique, it's very unique, and it makes him stand out. So when he does a presentation, it's not just I'm a financial advisor, I'm gonna help your money live outlive you or whatever. It's I will take your call no matter what, anytime, because my full responsibility is for you. I don't know many other people who could say that.

SPEAKER_00 2:12

No, not at all. Yeah, and especially this day in time when people are really trying to protect their time as well. That is very unique.

SPEAKER_01 2:20

You get his personal cell phone number when you're his client. And I think that says something, right? And when I was doing some coaching work with him in the marketing side of things with his languaging and his core message, it was in the ballpark of American Express Black Card. Most people may not know what that is. And it's a status card that you get with American Express when you reach a certain level of income. And when you achieve that, it comes with benefits. And one is like a clon, you have concierge services at all times wherever you travel, meaning you land on a private jet somewhere and you want to go to the concert and you need a special seating arrangement, you pick up your black card or you call your concierge. It's kind of like that. Yeah. So it puts him in an in a at a level as well in his company. You know, not everybody is his client. He has a very specialized level of client. They have a certain level of income. So when we were talking about this for him and identifying that unique thing, this analogy came out and he said, Yeah, that sounds about right. That makes sense.

SPEAKER_00 3:24

That is so, yeah, that's very interesting because I was he's also able to give his cell phone out because he's not going to have a million clients. He's going to have the select few that he really focuses on.

SPEAKER_01 3:39

And there's a particular type of person, his perfect person, when we did the same exercise as I've done with other clients, the 360-degree analysis is they really want that. They aspire to that. It's not just, yeah, my guy is on call or I have his personal cell phone. It's the the need that they have, the pain that he's safeguarding a large amount of my assets that I need safeguarded. I really do need somebody who's gonna pick up the phone. If I'm in a good place or a scary place with my finances and I've spent my entire life building this nest egg that needs protecting and expanding, I need this guy. Yeah, not just the usual standard broker.

SPEAKER_00 4:23

Yeah.

unknown 4:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:24

Very interesting. So how does one go about starting to really think about how what their uniqueness actually is? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:32

So when we talk about that, we reverse engineer into it and we say, What does your perfect person really need from you? And sometimes it's why should they choose you over somebody else? Like if there's two of you kind of going head to head, competing for this person's business, what would you feel they needed most from you that would separate you from the other person? So we come at it from a bit of a different angle. It's less, less inward-facing at on the face of it, and more we want to put you in the seat of your perfect person and feel their pain, empathize with them. What would you want if you were in their position? And that kind of helps extract it out a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 5:18

So as you're saying that, I think it's really interesting to think about it. Can almost be someone who cares about the same thing you care about. So that, right? So then you and I can really empathize with each other because this is what I would want if I was making this decision. And now I can meet you exactly there. And when you usually find someone who buys like you would want, like you would want to buy, you probably have a lot of other things in common as well. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:47

And it's a natural attractor, right? So it's like a magnet. I it there's a book called magnetic marketing. I'm not sure it's really about that, but I think about that term. Um and I say to my clients, what is going to magnetize somebody to you? And if they really get stuck, honestly, because it can be hard to identify this. I I will ask them, we go back to their existing perfect person, and I say, How did they find you? What attracted them to you? How did they know you were the person to solve this problem for them? And then that will help us kind of pull back the layers of that onion and and uncover the truth of what their unique value proposition is or unique sales proposition, or is that one thing? So there's a guy, um, Alex MH Smith, across the pond. And he says, don't be everything. You want to be the only thing that you're serve, you know, you're offering. So you're the only X that does Y. Yes. And that helps also kind of extract that core part of your message and your uniqueness.

SPEAKER_00 6:50

Yeah. And as you were talking, also, if you find that perfect person, that perfect person's usually hanging out with other people like them, right? So how did they find you? Well, usually it's a friend or someone else, right? Referred or recommended or whatever, so that you can ultimately end up working with a lot of people that you just really, really appreciate. Right.

SPEAKER_01 7:12

And that's, I mean, birds of a feather. It's true.

SPEAKER_00 7:16

Yeah.

unknown 7:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:18

So what happens when your message can apply? Like, how do you identify when your message applies to everybody in the room, thus applies to no one? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:28

Um, I think it's when you're getting no response. Like you're not, no one's essentially what we call raising their hand. Like that's an opt-in, right? Oh, that's me. If you're having no one say, Oh, that's me, or I have to have this, then you're probably missing something. That's a signal, right? Yeah. So that's what I would say. Um, you'll notice it if the phone's not ringing, if you're not getting a response to um like an outbound type of initiative, you put an offer out there, no one takes it, it it's just not resonating, that's not hitting, it's not relevant. You know, you want to make sure that if you're getting these signals back, that you're probably gonna need to reassess. How do I need to approach this? What's the real need out there? How can I speak to that pain?

SPEAKER_00 8:13

Yeah. Yeah. So really, when and you're in the B and I space and you're not getting referrals, right? Then you haven't nailed who that who that actually is. Yeah. And who who and what message we're gonna be be delivering. Right. I try and break it down super simple. If you describe someone and I can picture them in my head, boom, we've got it. Now tell me what is the thing that I'm gonna say to them to entice them to want to talk to you. Right. To now we've got the per now we've got the two things we need to be referable ultimately.

SPEAKER_01 8:44

And I think you guys do a good job of it too in some of the training. You can even start your presentation, your weekly presentation, or that little opportunity you get to describe who you're looking for. You can say, you know, when this, I help do that, which fixes uh this. Yes. So it's short, it's sweet, it's one sentence, usually maybe two, and it can really usually meet the parameters of what's required in a BI weekly presentation without going over, and it's refreshingly clear. Sometimes if you're just clear, that will stick. People can grab onto it, right? So there's another saying, um, clear is kind. Yes, confusion is not kind. So being able to really pinpoint that or describe it can really help that room find you those people.

SPEAKER_00 9:38

I really appreciate the quote from Story Brand. Yes, yeah, right. And a confused buyer doesn't buy. So if it's not clear, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:44

I think Donald Miller has said a million times, if you confuse, you lose.

SPEAKER_00 9:48

Yes. Yeah, absolutely. So what is a simple thing that people can do to test their message? They're not ready for a marketing campaign necessarily, but they can test their message to see if it's resonating.

SPEAKER_01 10:00

Yeah, I think sometimes you start um making that phone call frame in the house. Yeah. Really. Um, talk it out, ask a friend or somebody who knows a little bit about what you do, um, even a spouse. I honestly think some of the conversations we've had off-camera today help answer this. Ask your kids, can you describe what I do to somebody else? Yeah. If you had to describe what mom does or what problem she solves to a friend of yours, would they understand what I do? Yeah. I don't know. Like that type of thing would be helpful. Um, I'm a big fan of using AI um ethically and responsibly as a thinking partner. And there's a way to leverage the power of that in the same context of which I was just describing. It's explain it to me like I'm 12. Yeah. And in AI, you can say ELI 12 or ELI 9. Explain it to me like I'm nine as a command or a prompt in some AI engines. So simplifying it, making it easy to understand. But use your people around you as a sounding board that kind of are already familiar with what you do, and then start to refine it and see what results you get. Then take it on the road, take it outside of the house. I found um, you know, I've just introduced some additional services with AI consulting into my world. And I'm testing it in the room at BNI, different going to different BNI chapters and just pushing it out there and testing it. So based on the response I get, I know if I've hit it or not, right? So you do kind of have to road test these things.

SPEAKER_00 11:32

Yeah. I do, I shared this last year with someone. She was talking about bringing a new segment to the market for her business. And I said, well, go talk to people who need that segment. Yeah. That segment and see, you know, and just say, hey, I'm doing market research and test it out because people will help. You might be able to pick up a client along the way, but at least you'll understand what the actual buyer's looking for. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:57

And I think that is probably if they take nothing else from the segment that we're talking about, it's the road test. Ask people what they need. Ask them. They will tell you that is the best way to identify the thing that you need to do to serve them. And it will help then refine your message and identify your perfect person.

SPEAKER_00 12:16

Awesome. This has been absolutely fantastic. Um, next time we're going to make, we're going to talk about how to make sure your targeted marketing is actually targeted. Um, because I think, again, uh, this just seems so few people are doing it. It's so critically important. So referrals don't just come from chasing, they come from connection. When you build the right network, business flows. Next week, we're talking about how your target market may not be targeted. If this was helpful, subscribe for more conversations like this. And if you're ready to grow your business through referral, please check out your closest BNI chapter by visiting BNI.com. See you next time.